Wedding Planning Update and What I’ve Learned Along the Way

diamond ring on pumpkin

EEEK! We are 43 days away from getting married! I don’t know where time has gone! The last time I posted an update on our wedding planning progress was back in March and we were over 200 days away from the big day. Time just goes so quickly.

I figured I’d give a quick update on what we have left to do and what I’ve learned a long the way! There’s so much no one knows about planning a wedding until you have to plan your own. Then its like yikes! This is overwhelming! So anyway, here’s everything we have left:

  • Hair trial for me – happening this Saturday!
  • Makeup trial- next Friday!
  • Final alterations to my gown- in October!
  • Choosing our first dance song (this is a hard one!)
  • Getting final guest count (I swear that’s going to be impossible since literally almost EVERYONE has to travel to Dallas)
  • Get decor together in appropriate boxes labeled with where the contents should go
  • Buy my morning-of outfit
  • Finish escort cards (my coworker Darlin is doing the calligraphy for them- go check out her card shop on Etsy!!)
  • Buy wedding bands (we’ve been putting this off because $$$)
  • Figure out seating chart
  • GET MARRIAGE LICENSE

Of course there’s a million other tiny details I’m leaving out, such as deciding on my nail color for the day. FYI I’m thinking pale pink but it might end up being an almond or cream color. You’ll find out eventually!

SO here’s what I’ve learned along the way.

1) You are NEVER done paying for the wedding. Just when you think you’ve finally paid for everything, some new expense makes itself known. The little things also add up. Buying thank you notes, a card box, frames for memorial table photos, and everything else all adds up to hundreds of dollars.

2) You will overlook something important. I think our biggest “oops should have thought about that” was the weekend our wedding is going to be on. It’s the weekend before Halloween and Dallas shuts down the street RIGHT NEXT to our hotel for a huge annual bar crawl. We definitely didn’t think about that when we chose our date. Oops.

3) You will have emotions you didn’t expect. Goodness, I swear I’ve been on so many emotional roller coasters through all this. Weddings are emotional all the way around. So don’t be surprised when you get annoyed over something that normally wouldn’t bother you or sob over something you wouldn’t typically shed a tear for.

4) People don’t always know wedding etiquette. Oh man. This is a big one. Sometimes people just plain forget their manners! Don’t be surprised when a guest invites someone to your wedding that isn’t on the guest list. And don’t be surprised if people ask nosy things about the cost of your wedding.

I’m going to do a follow up post after our wedding so I can share everything I learned from the wedding day. I feel like you can prepare all you want for it but until it’s actually happening, you’ll be in the dark.

Shhh! This isn’t a Feeling You Should Have: Wedding Planning Depression

flippen park engagementI’ve always promised myself (and you!) that I’d be totally honest about my mental health struggles. So I thought it was important to admit and talk about how wedding planning can actually be a bit depressing for the anxiety and depression-prone gal!

How are you not super happy?!

I am super happy about marrying David, the best man in the world! I can’t wait to begin the next chapter of our lives! It’s not that I’m not happy to get married and be a bride, it’s that the other little things that lead up to that change give me so much to worry about it!

I think people see depression as a black and white mental state. You’re either happy or you’re not. But I think it’s so much more complex with tons of gray areas!

A wedding is a big deal with tons of emotions involved that can be on totally different ends of the spectrum. For example, I get so excited going to our venue with David, but it also makes me sad that my mom can’t be here for any of the fun wedding planning. Ugh.

What Else Could be Dragging you Down?

So many little things that add up. People that haven’t suffered with long term depression often think it’s a choice and you can “snap out of it.” Ehhh not that easy. Sometimes it’s a chemical imbalance in your brain and other times it’s an event that’s upset you. For me, it’s the chemical imbalance and little things that freak me right on out.

The hardest part about being a bride and planning a wedding (in my experience) is how out of control your thoughts can be. Worrying about paying vendors, what guests will think of your wedding, or choosing small details can cause so many irrational thoughts to occur. One of my biggest worries right now is how I’ll look on my wedding day. Will I look bad in my dress? Will I have acne pop up all the sudden? Yikes! So many crazy thoughts that add to my depression and anxiety.

What do you do about it?

That’s what I’m trying to figure out. Being depressed and anxious while planning a wedding isn’t something a bride *should* be feeling but sometimes you do! And in my opinion, that’s ok. I asked my future sister in law how she felt when she was planning her wedding a few years ago and she voiced similar things. The most important thing is that you balance it out with the happy feelings too!

I’ve found that going to our venue (its an old hotel in Dallas!) and just walking around picturing everything gives me so much joy! Updating my bridesmaids in a Facebook group chat we have going gets me excited too because I can share the big and little details with them. Listening to music options for my wedding is also a favorite of mine!

Finally, I think talking to a doctor is one of the best things you can do when you’re feeling depressed. I routinely see a mental health counselor to help me cope and it’s been very helpful. I still have my down in the dumps days but I can make sense of them now.

Anyway, if you’re getting married and have a similar experience, please leave me a comment! I’d love to hear from you!

 

What’s Left on Our Wedding Planning To-Do List

engagement photos flippen park dallas

Oh my goodness! Only 220-something days until David and I get married! It’s coming so fast but it’s taking sooo long at the same time. We’ve been busy saving all of our pennies and planning every detail of our wedding so that it’s everything we’ve dreamed of! I’m trying to savor every minute of the planning but it’s so easy to get caught up in the logistics of everything.

There’s quite a few things left on my to-do list, so I won’t bore you with the small details but there’s some pretty big ones I thought I’d share!

choosing the dinner menu

Our venue has a delicious restaurant on-site that will provide the catering for our reception. We still haven’t tasted any of our options yet, but we’re so excited! The options are really endless as the Landmark Restaurant tries to cater to every couple’s personal tastes. We’re doing our tasting in August!

First dance music

Oh goodness. This one will be tough. David and I love to dance (even though we can’t) and have  a blast on the dance floor at every wedding! But at our own, we don’t know what our first dance song should be! David wants a country song, I want a Nat King Cole song. So combining our taste in music should be interesting. Either way, that first dance will be so special!

Dress alterations

My dress is absolutely everything I ever wanted… but its way too big on me! I need to have it altered but the seamstress suggested I wait until the summer. That’s honestly perfect because I’m trying to drop a pound or ten (haha!) before getting it altered. I also need to choose a veil, shoes, and jewelry to compliment my dress so having all that taken care of by then will be perfect!

Choosing Bridesmaids Dresses

I’m so excited for this! I have a few dresses in mind that I’ll be sharing with my bridesmaids in a month. It’s difficult when you have a huge bridal party (8 girls!) and you have 8 different body types to dress. No one has the same body and making my bridesmaids feel comfortable in what they’re wearing is important to me!

I can’t wait to share more details with you in the coming months! I’m trying not to giveaway the entire wedding before it even happens (trust me, it’s so hard!) but I’ll share what I can!