Speaking New Year’s Resolutions into Existence

It’s that time of the year again… the time we tell ourselves we’ll change our eating habits, make more time for hobbies, family, ourselves etc., and try to be more positive. It lasts all of maybe a month and then we’re back to our old ways. I’m so guilty of this and I’m tired of it! So this year, I’ve decided that I’m changing my approach! I’m speaking my resolutions and intentions into existence. Sounds crazy? Keep reading and this may change your mind!

The Law of Attraction

The Law of Attraction is the belief that if you speak positivity into the world, you will attract positive things. The same goes for negative words attracting negative things. It makes sense. If you think and speak positively, good things tend to happen. Now that’s not to say nothing bad will ever happen, but it improves the way you handle it and can even change the outcome.

From my own experience, when I speak negatively, nothing good really ever comes from that. I don’t know how many times my mom has told me to stop being negative about things and try to be positive. I’m not sure if its “energy,” I tend to think its God, but when I’m positive my mood lifts and happiness and peace comes right after that. I remember a Bible verse growing up that said to think and dwell on whatever is true, noble, lovely, and admirable. I don’t think anything bad has ever come from that.

In short: Speak positively and you will attract positive things.

How Do We Speak Positively?

It seems so simple. Say positive things and that’s it. But when you typically think and speak negatively, it can be really hard to change that mindset. I’ve tried so many times and unfortunately just returned to my old ways of thinking. So to even start the process of speaking positively, I’m saying out loud that I will speak positively! That’s really hard for me to even say. It’s so contrary to my nature. But simply saying that we will be uplifting when we speak conditions a small part of our minds to be aware of anything else that comes out of our mouths. Eventually, saying good things will become second nature.

How Do We Speak our Resolutions into Existence?

Well, this is difficult to answer because you can say that they will happen and you will stick to them, but at the same time you must make a physical effort. I think that daily reminders to yourself that you’re working toward your resolution and still intend to keep it can be a big help. A simple mantra to repeat to yourself such as “I will speak positively” or “I will eat healthy today” can help remind yourself of your intentions and speak them into existence. You cannot take words back, and sometimes that’s for the better!

 Good luck with your resolutions! Sticking with them is going to be hard but I’ve already said I’m going to stick with it so my words have intention and it’s too late! No turning back now!

 

 

Am I Successful? And Other Burning Career Questions

SUCCESS. This is something I’ve been struggling with here lately. What does it look like for me? Is it different for everyone? How do I define it? All these questions and more have been running through my mind because I’ve come to a point in my life where I have to ask myself, “am I happy?” The truth is, I don’t know! I suspect other women in their mid-20s are asking themselves the same thing. So let’s deep dive into “success” not only from a career stand-point, but also from a mental health perspective!

Quarter-Life Crisis

What am I doing with my life? Is it meaningful? Do I enjoy it? These are all questions I’ve asked myself recently. To be clear, I’m not questioning getting married or if I have enough friends or the right ones; I’m questioning my career choices. I work in the marketing industry as a Marketing Manager. I like what I do. I think. But it isn’t what I thought I’d be doing.

Full transparency here: At 17 years old I wanted to work in politics and change the world. By the time I turned 21, I said “to heck with that” and decided to pursue other interests. I’m glad I did that. However, I’m honestly not sure how I got to where I am now. I didn’t purposely choose marketing, it chose me. And thus begins my quarter-life crisis, if you want to call it that.

Finding the Right Job

I feel like in your early twenties, your choices of jobs are little less curated and a little more take what you can get. But towards the end of your twenties, when you have some experience under your belt, you get to be a little more picky. And that’s where I am right now. What do I do next and who do I want to work for? I’d like to stay within the marketing industry, as I feel I’m pretty darn good at what I do. But working for the right people makes a huge difference! Having worked for several companies now, I know what I like and what I don’t.

• I like companies that trust their employees and don’t micromanage.
• I like companies that value charity and helping the community.
• I like companies that are flexible with working from home from time to time and put an emphasis on work-life balance.
• I do not like companies that think you aren’t able to work unless you’re sitting in a cubicle.
• I don’t like companies that have stringent vacation time policies and only give a day off at Christmas and Thanksgiving.
• I don’t like companies that don’t value new ideas and planning for the future.

There are a lot of good and bad places to work. So as I look to my next move in my career, I’ll be a little more picky. I want to go somewhere that I can be successful and VALUED.

Am I successful?

I’ve also been asking myself for awhile now, “am I as successful as I should be?” This is a hard question to answer because success is different to everyone. For the sake of this blog post, I”m defining success as “the ability to make executive decisions in your role and being paid in correlation to the difficulty of those decisions.”

My role has totally changed since I was first hired. A lot. I’ve taken on more responsibility and started leading and making directional decisions. I honestly love that! So in terms of leading and finding new opportunities within my role, I’m successful. But, as many young women (and sometimes men) find, I’m not being rewarded for the risks and responsibilities.

Talking to other young professionals about their job roles, salary, benefits, and work environment has shown me that often times, we undercut ourselves! You can be young and successful, but you have to see the value in yourself before anyone else will. With that in mind, I can affirm that I’ve only been successful in terms of the responsibility I have in my role. Not much else.

What About Mental Health?

Ahhhh… mental health in the workplace. It’s so important and I think employers are finally understanding that. But I think there’s more to mental health than not crying at your desk every day. For me, my mental health tends to take a hit when I’m being overloaded with work or when I don’t feel like I’m being heard or respected. It’s demoralizing and exhausting.

Working somewhere that understands the amount of time and effort that goes into a single task or project is so important to being successful within that company. Working for people with experience and know-how can make or break your mental health.

I think we can all agree that no company is going to be absolutely perfect and some days you’ll feel more drained than others. But when every day becomes an energy drain and you feel defeated, that isn’t healthy.

Ok, Now What?

This is so hard for me to answer for myself, let alone you! I will tell you that if any of this resonated with you, then maybe it’s time to go somewhere new or try something new! As I was writing this, I couldn’t tell if I was writing it for myself or for my readers. I think it’s a little of both because we’ve all been here!

Personally, I’m going to pray about it and then make some decisions. The world is my oyster as my mom says!

 

Mental Health During Wedding Planning

Oh. My. Goodness. I am 80-some days away from marrying David and I couldn’t be more excited! It’s really starting to feel REAL. We’ve been engaged since May 2018 and up until now, everything has been about paying for the wedding. But now we’re getting into the details! However, with all the details and exciting moments comes a lot of stress. This brings me right back to mental health. The ups and downs you’ll experience throughout the whole planning process means you’ll really need to be in touch with your mental health. Here’s how I’m learning to do that!

Accept How You Feel

Our hearts can be deceitful, but when your heart and your head are saying the same thing, it’s ok to feel a certain way. For example, when I went for my first dress fitting, I stepped into my gown and didn’t feel so hot. It was too big on me and wasn’t tailored to my body. Then the seamstress suggested I wear a bustier under the dress to keep my stomach tight and everything lifted. I put it on and then got my dress all situated and I felt hot and suffocated. But I still went with her recommendation even though I didn’t like how I looked or felt. Both my heart and my head said this wasn’t a good idea but I felt bad for not wanting to do what was suggested.

So now I have to tell my seamstress that I need an alternative! I didn’t want to accept how I felt because I didn’t think I should be feeling or thinking it. But you know what? I’m allowed to feel and think that an alternative is better. And so are you.

Have Someone to Talk to

Talking to someone about how you feel or what you’re experiencing can be so helpful! Throughout the planning (and paying!) process I’ve desperately needed someone to share my thoughts with. My mom, a coworker, my best friends, and my clinical psychologist have been lifesavers! Find someone you trust to share frustrations, excitement, and worries with in relation to your wedding.

Don’t Constantly Plan

David and I have had over a year to plan our wedding so we were able to take some time off from planning now and then. You will drive yourself crazy if you constantly plan! You need to take a break from it every now and then. David and I have found other things to do together that don’t involve wedding stuff and its really awesome to just live normally for a little while. It’s a good mental break!

Write Down Your Worries and Fears

Sometimes I get so overwhelmed with worry and fear regarding our wedding that I can’t contain it anymore. So I write down what’s troubling me. Sometimes all it takes is a sentence or two, other times its an entire page or more. Writing it down really helps me think through it and verbalize it as well. I think a lot of people can benefit from this practice!

 

2 Week Challenge: No Going Out to Eat

 

Eating out. It’s my biggest weakness and greatest joy in life. I love being out with people and sitting in cute restaurant or on a patio enjoying the atmosphere. I just love it! But it’s been my biggest downfall this summer. Not only has it been expensive to eat out as much as we do (like 3-4 times a week!!) but it’s also been costly to my body. So David and I have decided to do a 2 week no going out to eat challenge. If it sounds miserable, well it is. Sort of.

What My Goals are

I have a really sensitive stomach and unfortunately, fragile self esteem. So when I overeat, I feel so guilty. It’s something I’m working on because food is fuel for our bodies! But when you gorge on it, you almost always regret it. I want to develop a healthier relationship with food. Avoiding places that make me want to gorge (aka restaurants) I believe is a big part of this. With that mind, the 3 things I want to come out of this challenge are:

1. Ability to enjoy food without gorging or panicking because I’m worried I won’t be able to control my eating.
2. Save money and explore other things to do in Dallas that don’t involve food.
3. And yes, lose weight. My pants are getting tight and I’m NOT buying new ones. Plus, my wedding is 3 months away. I want to look and FEEL my best.

What are the Rules?

No restaurants. No wine bars. No grabbing breakfast or lunch at the little cafe at my work. No little treat yo’ self snacks from a drive through. I will allow myself a skinny vanilla latte from Starbucks but half the time the line is so long I’ll say forget it anyway.

Are You Going to Cook More?

I’m going to try! There’s no reason you can’t have a delish meal right from your own kitchen. David made us chicken Caesar salads today that tasted just like something you’d get from a restaurant. SO GOOD! Learning to make some of my restaurant favorites will be something I try over the next two weeks!

What Will You Do for Social Activities?

That’s a good question. I’m not sure yet! David and I do almost everything together so I imagine we’re going to try some of the things we’ve always said we were going to do but never did. Kayaking is a big one on that list! Laying by the pool is on there too.

With my girl friends, yoga classes, mani pedis, DIY wedding decorations, and just hanging out at each other’s house is on the menu.

I’m not going to lie, I’m really nervous I’ll just give up on day two. And that’s why I’m sharing my two week challenge with you! By sharing my aspirations, I feel like I have no choice but to fulfill what I said I would. So keep me accountable!

What to Put On Your Wedding Registry

Hey lovelies! With David and I getting married in a few months, we decided it was time to put together a wedding registry that we could include in our wedding invitation packet for everyone we’re inviting. It’s so funny how you can be out and about and see a million things you want but then when it comes time to actually list out the things you’d like, you’re totally stumped! When we went to add things to the registry, we had a hard time figuring out what we actually needed! We have basically everything after having lived together for 3 years and also being in our mid twenties.

So we came up with a few things that would be nice to have and put them on our registry. If you’re looking for registry items and are stuck like we were, here are some ideas!

1. Eiffel Tower Sheets
2. Utensil Holder
3. Wedding Cake Christmas Ornament
4. Flower Arrangement
5. Gold Silverware
6. Blue Bench
7. Recipe Box
8. Marble Plates (they come in several colors!)
9. Champagne Bucket
10. Euro Pillows
11. Ceramic Jar

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