Wedding Planning Update and What I’ve Learned Along the Way

diamond ring on pumpkin

EEEK! We are 43 days away from getting married! I don’t know where time has gone! The last time I posted an update on our wedding planning progress was back in March and we were over 200 days away from the big day. Time just goes so quickly.

I figured I’d give a quick update on what we have left to do and what I’ve learned a long the way! There’s so much no one knows about planning a wedding until you have to plan your own. Then its like yikes! This is overwhelming! So anyway, here’s everything we have left:

  • Hair trial for me – happening this Saturday!
  • Makeup trial- next Friday!
  • Final alterations to my gown- in October!
  • Choosing our first dance song (this is a hard one!)
  • Getting final guest count (I swear that’s going to be impossible since literally almost EVERYONE has to travel to Dallas)
  • Get decor together in appropriate boxes labeled with where the contents should go
  • Buy my morning-of outfit
  • Finish escort cards (my coworker Darlin is doing the calligraphy for them- go check out her card shop on Etsy!!)
  • Buy wedding bands (we’ve been putting this off because $$$)
  • Figure out seating chart

Of course there’s a million other tiny details I’m leaving out, such as deciding on my nail color for the day. FYI I’m thinking pale pink but it might end up being an almond or cream color. You’ll find out eventually!

SO here’s what I’ve learned along the way.

1) You are NEVER done paying for the wedding. Just when you think you’ve finally paid for everything, some new expense makes itself known. The little things also add up. Buying thank you notes, a card box, frames for memorial table photos, and everything else all adds up to hundreds of dollars.

2) You will overlook something important. I think our biggest “oops should have thought about that” was the weekend our wedding is going to be on. It’s the weekend before Halloween and Dallas shuts down the street RIGHT NEXT to our hotel for a huge annual bar crawl. We definitely didn’t think about that when we chose our date. Oops.

3) You will have emotions you didn’t expect. Goodness, I swear I’ve been on so many emotional roller coasters through all this. Weddings are emotional all the way around. So don’t be surprised when you get annoyed over something that normally wouldn’t bother you or sob over something you wouldn’t typically shed a tear for.

4) People don’t always know wedding etiquette. Oh man. This is a big one. Sometimes people just plain forget their manners! Don’t be surprised when a guest invites someone to your wedding that isn’t on the guest list. And don’t be surprised if people ask nosy things about the cost of your wedding.

I’m going to do a follow up post after our wedding so I can share everything I learned from the wedding day. I feel like you can prepare all you want for it but until it’s actually happening, you’ll be in the dark.

How I’m Beating Body Image Issues in Time for My Wedding

Leopard print dress

Oh my goodness guys, this is a hard post to write! I’ve never shied away from talking about mental health issues as I think its important to normalize talking about it. BUT, when it comes to talking about how I feel about my body and how I look- YIKES. That’s hard. It’s hard to admit I struggle with it (even though most people do to a degree).  And what I’m about to type is even harder to admit. I’ve always thought I was fat. Yep, there, I said it! I really have thought that for a long time and with my wedding coming up, it’s only been amplified.

My Ahaa! Moment

Every bride feels like she has to be perfect on her wedding day. Hair, makeup, body. Everything. For me, putting on that wedding dress was going to be the battle of my lifetime. Will it zip? Will I look fat? Will my back fat hang over my dress?!

I went for my first fitting with a seamstress and I put on my wedding dress for her to nip and tuck where appropriate. She told me that I needed some extra support “up there” if the dress was going to look right. I put the corset on that she gave me and looked in the mirror completely horrified. WHERE DID MY WAIST GO!? I asked her if she could take the dress in around the waist and she said not much more. I said ok. I left my appointment, got in the car, and burst into tears. I hated how I looked in my wedding dress. After sending pictures of me in the dress to all my bridesmaids and my mom, the verdict was clear- the dress looked good on me and my perceived “fatness” was all in my head.

I started immediately looking for someone that dealt with body image issues.

Committing to Changing My Mindset

It took me a month or so to find the right therapist to help me work through my body image issues (and about a dozen more panicked texts to my bridesmaids.) But I’ve been seeing her for a few weeks now and I already feel my mindset shifting.

The first thing my therapist told me was that she couldn’t fix my body image issues if I wasn’t committed to changing how I thought. It seems simple enough- change how you think and talk about yourself and you’ll begin to feel better. Its the most basic advice and almost anyone will tell you that, but its hard to really commit. In my case, I apparently have to pay someone to tell me to change something that I already know I should change before I’ll actually try to change it. Typical.

But I’ve committed. And yes, I have my negative moments where I criticize myself. However, I feel so much better. I don’t beat myself up for how I look in a certain dress after I’ve eaten a big meal. When I look in the mirror, I make a conscious effort to find one thing that I love about myself. It might be something small like how my engagement ring looks on my finger or how a necklace looks around my neck, but it’s still something positive!

Changing What I Put in My Body

I’ve always believed that the mind and the body are very much connected. Luckily, my therapist agrees. I was explaining to her that I always have stomach problems and never feel good, which contributes to how I feel I look on the outside (i.e. bloated.) She asked if I had any allergies and I explained that dairy wasn’t my best friend but I take pills to help with that. She told me I need to totally cut out the dairy for a trial period to see how I feel. Ugh. I love cheese. This was so hard to hear! But I agreed. Once again, apparently I have to pay someone to make me do the things I already know I should do.

Since I also have anxiety she asked how much coffee I drink in a day. Too much is the answer. She told me to cut that out as well since caffeine can often make anxiety worse. Ugh. I love coffee. But if what I put in my body is causing harm not only to my stomach but also my mind, then I have to make an effort to change that! So I am. I’m only a few days in but it’s helping!

What’s Next

I honestly am not sure what’s next in fixing my body image journey. I think there will be ups and downs. But so far the ups have felt amazing and the downs are only momentary. I’m FINALLY looking forward to putting on that wedding dress. Am I still nervous? Of course! But not so much over how my body will look. I’m nervous that my hair might not stay in place or that my makeup will smudge or that I’ll get stains on my dress. I am not nervous that I will look fat because I know my body will serve me well that day. Plus, my wedding dress is pretty darn big (hint!) so I think I’ll look pretty small in comparison!