Oh. My. Goodness. I am 80-some days away from marrying David and I couldn’t be more excited! It’s really starting to feel REAL. We’ve been engaged since May 2018 and up until now, everything has been about paying for the wedding. But now we’re getting into the details! However, with all the details and exciting moments comes a lot of stress. This brings me right back to mental health. The ups and downs you’ll experience throughout the whole planning process means you’ll really need to be in touch with your mental health. Here’s how I’m learning to do that!
Accept How You Feel
Our hearts can be deceitful, but when your heart and your head are saying the same thing, it’s ok to feel a certain way. For example, when I went for my first dress fitting, I stepped into my gown and didn’t feel so hot. It was too big on me and wasn’t tailored to my body. Then the seamstress suggested I wear a bustier under the dress to keep my stomach tight and everything lifted. I put it on and then got my dress all situated and I felt hot and suffocated. But I still went with her recommendation even though I didn’t like how I looked or felt. Both my heart and my head said this wasn’t a good idea but I felt bad for not wanting to do what was suggested.
So now I have to tell my seamstress that I need an alternative! I didn’t want to accept how I felt because I didn’t think I should be feeling or thinking it. But you know what? I’m allowed to feel and think that an alternative is better. And so are you.
Have Someone to Talk to
Talking to someone about how you feel or what you’re experiencing can be so helpful! Throughout the planning (and paying!) process I’ve desperately needed someone to share my thoughts with. My mom, a coworker, my best friends, and my clinical psychologist have been lifesavers! Find someone you trust to share frustrations, excitement, and worries with in relation to your wedding.
Don’t Constantly Plan
David and I have had over a year to plan our wedding so we were able to take some time off from planning now and then. You will drive yourself crazy if you constantly plan! You need to take a break from it every now and then. David and I have found other things to do together that don’t involve wedding stuff and its really awesome to just live normally for a little while. It’s a good mental break!
Write Down Your Worries and Fears
Sometimes I get so overwhelmed with worry and fear regarding our wedding that I can’t contain it anymore. So I write down what’s troubling me. Sometimes all it takes is a sentence or two, other times its an entire page or more. Writing it down really helps me think through it and verbalize it as well. I think a lot of people can benefit from this practice!