I’ve always promised myself (and you!) that I’d be totally honest about my mental health struggles. So I thought it was important to admit and talk about how wedding planning can actually be a bit depressing for the anxiety and depression-prone gal!
How are you not super happy?!
I am super happy about marrying David, the best man in the world! I can’t wait to begin the next chapter of our lives! It’s not that I’m not happy to get married and be a bride, it’s that the other little things that lead up to that change give me so much to worry about it!
I think people see depression as a black and white mental state. You’re either happy or you’re not. But I think it’s so much more complex with tons of gray areas!
A wedding is a big deal with tons of emotions involved that can be on totally different ends of the spectrum. For example, I get so excited going to our venue with David, but it also makes me sad that my mom can’t be here for any of the fun wedding planning. Ugh.
What Else Could be Dragging you Down?
So many little things that add up. People that haven’t suffered with long term depression often think it’s a choice and you can “snap out of it.” Ehhh not that easy. Sometimes it’s a chemical imbalance in your brain and other times it’s an event that’s upset you. For me, it’s the chemical imbalance and little things that freak me right on out.
The hardest part about being a bride and planning a wedding (in my experience) is how out of control your thoughts can be. Worrying about paying vendors, what guests will think of your wedding, or choosing small details can cause so many irrational thoughts to occur. One of my biggest worries right now is how I’ll look on my wedding day. Will I look bad in my dress? Will I have acne pop up all the sudden? Yikes! So many crazy thoughts that add to my depression and anxiety.
What do you do about it?
That’s what I’m trying to figure out. Being depressed and anxious while planning a wedding isn’t something a bride *should* be feeling but sometimes you do! And in my opinion, that’s ok. I asked my future sister in law how she felt when she was planning her wedding a few years ago and she voiced similar things. The most important thing is that you balance it out with the happy feelings too!
I’ve found that going to our venue (its an old hotel in Dallas!) and just walking around picturing everything gives me so much joy! Updating my bridesmaids in a Facebook group chat we have going gets me excited too because I can share the big and little details with them. Listening to music options for my wedding is also a favorite of mine!
Finally, I think talking to a doctor is one of the best things you can do when you’re feeling depressed. I routinely see a mental health counselor to help me cope and it’s been very helpful. I still have my down in the dumps days but I can make sense of them now.
Anyway, if you’re getting married and have a similar experience, please leave me a comment! I’d love to hear from you!