How Body Confidence Turns Into Body Shaming

Happy hump day lovelies! I thought today I’d chat with you about a more serious topic that so many people, particularly women, can relate to- body confidence. If you’re hoping that this is going to be a “ra-ra love ourselves” post, it really won’t be. Not that I don’t appreciate those posts because I do! Feeling good about yourself is important to personal happiness. However, I’ve come to notice that body confidence has it’s own asterisks attached to it.

The other day, I was scrolling through my newsfeed when I came across a story about a personal trainer who had a baby and somehow still managed to get her six-pack abs back only a few weeks after having her baby. You would think that people would either want to know how she did or just keep scrolling, but no. Commenters jumped straight to body shaming her for her post-baby photos and saying that she’s a self-centered mom if she has time to work out. One person went so far as to say that women who are good moms don’t look like that. Ouch.

We often think of body shaming as only being geared towards people who are overweight. However, we leave out the people who are on the opposite end of that spectrum. What good is a message about loving ourselves and our bodies if it only applies to some people and not to others? Some people are built differently, have different metabolisms, and different athletic abilities. That’s ok. And being happy with how you look and even proud of it is such an important part of body confidence.

On the other side of the issue, is the push to love how you look even if you aren’t happy with it. Take me for example, I know I’m in the correct height-weight range for my age, but my pant size went up a little from last year and it’s driving me crazy. Should I shame myself for the weight gain? No, but there’s nothing wrong with wanting to fit back into the jeans I wore last fall either because they gave me confidence! Feeling good is part of looking good. Encouraging friends who want to feel good is part of sharing body confidence with others!

Next time you see a social media post from someone who is body confident, don’t shame or judge them for that confidence no matter how thin or big they are or what circumstances surround them. Women who really believe in body confidence, don’t do that to each other.

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I'm a Dallas fashion and mental health blogger! I love sharing affordable styles anyone can wear and also sharing mental health topics so people don't feel so alone.

16 thoughts on “How Body Confidence Turns Into Body Shaming”

  1. I SO needed to read this post the other day. So I’m coming back to comment. I, too, went up a pant size this year and have been SO frustrated and a bit ashamed. Then I read this post and decided to just go out and buy a new pair of jeans. When I put them on this morning I felt LOADS better about myself because I was so self conscious trying to fit into my other jeans. Of course I want to fit back into my old jeans, but I can’t let a pair of pants mess with a healthy self esteem. Now I can feel good about what I’m wearing and still work towards realistic goals to get back to my healthy weight. Thanks for sharing this and being an inspiration!


    1. Yay so glad for you Christen! It’s not worth trying to squeeze into a pair of jeans at the expense of how you feel. I’m accepting my size while still doing what I have to to get back in my old ones!


  2. Love this post! This is something I so struggle with. I’m technically in the overweight range for my height, which cues allll the self-doubt. Learning to be proud and confident in my body is something I have to chose every single day. Such a good topic to write about!


    1. Yes, Emily! You have to choose it! It doesn’t seem to matter what size you are, confidence is something you believe in and strive for everyday!


  3. You look great and no one should ever body shame anyone! Bodies sometimes/most times don’t go back to how they were pre-baby so instead feeling upset about how we look just put on that bikini and rock it! And for those moms that look fabulous good for them! You don’t know their story, maybe working out is how they find peace in their lives and really makes them happy. We need to be more uplifting and supportive and way less negativity.


    1. Jen that’s exactly what I’m saying! People’s bodies are strange and totally different from each other’s. Its so hard to compare when even someone’s DNA can determine how they carry weight!


  4. I totally agree with you! People need to focus on encouraging people’s healthy habits and just shutting up with negative talk. You don’t know what’s healthy for someone else.


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